Life feels good right now.
“Right now” is the biggest lesson I’ve learned this month. You’re never going to know what the next second holds. Thinking about what happens next all the time will only steal life and time from you. And oh, will it steal your joy. This month, I learned not to think; to have a mind that is completely stripped bare. I thought of nothing for almost three days straight (which is a record for me).
I laughed with friends. I held babies. I watched TV shows (almost obsessively). I listened to music and ate a lot of pizza. I felt off balance in the beginning because I didn’t have a plan for the first time in forever, but later it just felt like living. Just feeling and being in the moment.
Sometimes, being present is as simple as feeling just the water in the shower, only tasting the food and the wine and hearing the laughter at the dinner table. It is looking at the people you love and taking a second to see them, enjoying the feel of them in your arms when you hug. It is listening to them so intently that not even time could steal their the sound of their voices, the memory of it, without your permission.
I thought I knew what it meant to be present. But now that every moment from the past week is on my heart, and on my tongue and behind my eyes, in my ears and on my skin; now that my soul is drenched in memories pressed so tight to my cheeks. Now, I know.
And the present is such a gift.
I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow or next, but these days I’m not thinking further than today.
On Sunday, I had to pack up all my belongings and leave the house I’ve lived in for over a year. I had to leave so many friends and family behind. I had to leave a place that has become so close to my heart and I don’t know when or if I’ll be back. I’ll always keep trying to go back, but you know life. You never know. I spent the last two weeks being present and immersed in my life there and it was the best thing.