for all the places we couldn’t fit

Sometimes you hand yourself to a person. You place yourself in their palm. At first, you do not realize that you are uncomfortable. It’s like trying on shoes in a store and thinking that you love this pair so much, you’d take it even in a size smaller. So you walk around the store to feel it out but because it’s so beautiful, you do not feel the pinch. In the beginning.

This is how you place yourself in his palm; legs pulled to your chin, head bent.

Then you start to feel hemmed in. Your feet stick out, your elbows won’t stop jutting and really you can barely breathe. So you inch a little closer and he even helps you; pulls you into him until you can go no further. Until you are too cramped to move or even to be.

Sometimes you give yourself to a person who has no idea where to place you or what to do with you. They rub you in all the wrong ways until you begin to chafe. Until you both (together) are a burning house. You sit in the burning house for so long that you stop smelling the smoke and up until you walk out of that house, you don’t even realize that you’re on fire.

Sometimes you let a person set you on fire so many times that you start to think that smoke is all you could ever smell like.