Tu me manques

I can’t explain this feeling, but I’m willing to try.

It starts somewhere in the pit of my stomach, a gnawing first and then a gentle clawing.

It travels, yes, it travels to my diaphragm and begins to knock. It wants to reach my deepest place.

Of course I fight. I hold my breath. I send myself to exotic locations; into the minds of abstract writers, of techno songwriters.

But then, you can only fight it for so long before it lets itself in.

Swift. Shocking. Aching.

I feel my heart shrink, not like a constriction, but like a recoiling from my body.

My body is suddenly not whole.

My mind is fragmented, struggling to keep its hold on sanity.

I yearn for completeness. To reattach this missing part.

I know you are missing from me, but it feels like I am missing.

Lost and unable to find myself.