On Being An Introvert

“Silence is beautiful, not awkward. The human tendency to be afraid of something beautiful is awkward.”
-Elliot Kay
A wise somebody once said similar words: Silence is Golden
“Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions.”
I’ve found a bunch of quotes about introversion, but so far, these two are my favorites. I am an introvert. I’ve known this since I was about ten, mostly because people said so and then I had to research and see what all the ‘you’re such an introvert!’ buzz was about. Alas, I indeed belong to this group of individuals who get exhausted after dealing with people for large amounts of time. Like I always say, I’m not exactly sure what I’m going to say in this post, other than say what most of you already know but I’d like to say these things nonetheless because it would really be nice if people understood that not saying a lot of things in person doesn’t mean I’m some sort of snob/overly self important/can’t be bothered to talk to people person. I act like that a lot of the time. It’s really nothing personal.
My brother laughed when he saw me typing this post. One of the ‘perks’ of being home is that everyone pokes their heads in front of the screen when they see me typing. Typical example;
Mom: You’re doing what? your blog? Hmm. (walks away)
Dad: (smiles) Can I have my modem when you’re done?
Me: Okay
Brother: (Looks at laptop screen, walks away)
But, I digress. He laughed this time, my brother. He literally said ‘you’re not an introvert’ and while I tried to not be upset about the fact that someone who’s known me forever couldn’t tell that I’m an introvert, I showed him the Wiki article about introverts. Now, the essence of this cool story is that most times, people who are close to introverts don’t think of them as such. This is because, introverts aren’t reserved and of few words around close friends and family. They’re as crazy and talkative as a regular extrovert.
Still, even when they’re home, they like to take time alone to read, write, use the computer, listen to music and just recharge their batteries. It really isn’t that they don’t care for people, it’s that most times, they like to be alone. They find many conversations exhausting, to be honest, especially when it’s about things they don’t care about. I used to feel forced to continue conversations or be extra friendly to people I had just met and things like that and afterwards I’d feel like I’d run a marathon. Now, I just smile and hope that the person doesn’t take it as an invitation to start chattering. There are days when I don’t bother to smile and it’s not because I’m having a bad day, I just can’t be bothered to invite socialization. There are good days too and generally being around people I love and trust turns me into a slightly annoying over-exuberant chatterbox.
Personality also influences how people arrange their work areas. In general, extroverts decorate their offices more, keep their doors open, keep extra chairs nearby, and are more likely to put dishes of candy on their desks. These are attempts to invite co-workers and encourage interaction. Introverts, in contrast, decorate less and tend to arrange their work space to discourage social interaction.
Introverts take trust very seriously.
 Trust is usually an issue of significance: a virtue of utmost importance to an introvert is choosing a worthy companion.
It is believed that introversion and extroversion depend very much on the use of different parts of the brain. Some theories also propose that people are both extroverts and introverts ,only one is dominant.
I’d like to state all the good stuff and advantages of being an introvert like how they’re often more thoughtful, intelligent, artistic and all that, but I’ll let it go because you all already know all that.
The main reason for this post is to say that it’s okay to be an introvert. People think you’re strange for not wanting to go out every day and partaay or it’s weird that you don’t want to make small talk with every person who stops by your table or that it’s wrong that you feel uncomfortable having people visit just you especially when they’re not close to you. No, it’s okay. It’s okay that you’d rather stay home and read a book or cook or just write or think or whatever you want to do. Unlike popular misconceptions, introverts are not necessarily shy or socially challenged. They just prefer their own company. They take time to recharge their batteries after long amounts of time spent with a group.
Finally, if you have friends, family or a spouse who’s an introvert, let them be. They’ll talk to people and be social at their own pace. Always give them time to process. All introverts are different, but all I’ve written about is what I can relate to. Be supportive and save them from people who always try to force small talk. They’ll love you forever.
Introverts unite!
Till later xx

  • Tosan

    nice one dearie .
    introverts do more of listening and are “thinkers” as they give ideal suggestions and soluttions…
    i love this post probably because i’m one tooo**winks** …
    thumbs up……keep the good work on….
    then the sky will be just a stepping stone to the next level….. niceeêee….

    • Thanks so much 🙂

  • I so know that feeling of being physically and mentally exhausted after gisting for a while…i am an intovert and i concur with virtually everything you’ve written..don’t even get me started on not wanting not-so-close friends to come over. Spot on! great write…

  • Yeah right I feel you on this one!!! 5stars for speaking for as many of us that exist 🙂

  • I can relate so much. I am introverted to the point where people think I am a snob. Especially with the faces that I tend to pull and I can’t help it. I can’t run around trying to convince them that I am not a snob but if they come across me, their opinions tend to change. I think it is ok to be an introvert. I like it. It does annoy me when people do judge me on it but I just do what I want. I am trying to break out of it though but it is not so easy when it is so much a part of you. Love your post.

    • So happy to hear that you can relate. Thank you 🙂

  • Is it possible to have traits of introverts and extroverts? That’s probably where I fall in. I wish I read this when my sister and I were growing up. Nice one. An oh, I borrowed your title style in a post I called On Nostalgia & Homesickness.

    • Thank you. It is possible, I think. And yes, I read the article. I noticed what you did 😉 and I also feel the same about moms being alone when everyone has flown the coop.

  • Once again, you take the words out of my mouth. I keep telling people i’m not a snob – at least not all the time- but they never agree.
    Anyways, I recently put up a post on Labels and this is another labels that resonates.
    So do permit me to reblog. merci

  • Hey! First time here and great post! It is truly Spot on. My Hubby is an introvert and a lot of things you mentioned here, I had to learn the hard way. Well better late than never. LOL

  • Ify

    Yayyyy! Introverts unite!!!

    Lol, but this is spot on jare. I showed my hubby the how to care for introverts picture and he laughed after reading it cos it was like seeing me in a mirror.

    Well done Afoma, I can relate…


  • Wonderful piece! I love the way u express yourself

  • You said everything. Every single thing that was going through my mind as I was walking back to my room tonight after leaving some friends who just wanted me to party with them. I just couldn’t not because parties aren’t fun but because I didn’t see the point of that one and the unnecessary noise when I could be writing or reading. I am an introvert and sometimes, people make it seem like a disease, like you can’t just relate with others. But like I always say, when I see my people (deep calling to deep), you will see a girl that laughs, talks a little too much and just dances shamelessly even on the road.

    • Ahh I’m glad you could relate to this. Makes me very pleased to have made one introvert feel better 🙂

  • Lol, yeah! Hey Ufomo. I sent a mail to you yesterday about a series I’m starting in October on my blog (www.mateyscott.com). It’s about abuse and the focus is on child and women trafficking and rape. I got to know this blog through Ochuko and well, I am a fan. You are a good writer and I would love for you to be a part of the series. Contribute in terms of a write up. If you are interested, please let me know.

    Thanks hon☺