31st July 2013
On Being An Introvert
“Silence is beautiful, not awkward. The human tendency to be afraid of something beautiful is awkward.”-Elliot Kay
A wise somebody once said similar words: Silence is Golden
“Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions.”
I’ve found a bunch of quotes about introversion, but so far, these two are my favorites. I am an introvert. I’ve known this since I was about ten, mostly because people said so and then I had to research and see what all the ‘you’re such an introvert!’ buzz was about. Alas, I indeed belong to this group of individuals who get exhausted after dealing with people for large amounts of time. Like I always say, I’m not exactly sure what I’m going to say in this post, other than say what most of you already know but I’d like to say these things nonetheless because it would really be nice if people understood that not saying a lot of things in person doesn’t mean I’m some sort of snob/overly self important/can’t be bothered to talk to people person. I act like that a lot of the time. It’s really nothing personal.
My brother laughed when he saw me typing this post. One of the ‘perks’ of being home is that everyone pokes their heads in front of the screen when they see me typing. Typical example;
Mom: You’re doing what? your blog? Hmm. (walks away)
Dad: (smiles) Can I have my modem when you’re done?
Brother: (Looks at laptop screen, walks away)
But, I digress. He laughed this time, my brother. He literally said ‘you’re not an introvert’ and while I tried to not be upset about the fact that someone who’s known me forever couldn’t tell that I’m an introvert, I showed him the Wiki article about introverts. Now, the essence of this cool story is that most times, people who are close to introverts don’t think of them as such. This is because, introverts aren’t reserved and of few words around close friends and family. They’re as crazy and talkative as a regular extrovert.
Still, even when they’re home, they like to take time alone to read, write, use the computer, listen to music and just recharge their batteries. It really isn’t that they don’t care for people, it’s that most times, they like to be alone. They find many conversations exhausting, to be honest, especially when it’s about things they don’t care about. I used to feel forced to continue conversations or be extra friendly to people I had just met and things like that and afterwards I’d feel like I’d run a marathon. Now, I just smile and hope that the person doesn’t take it as an invitation to start chattering. There are days when I don’t bother to smile and it’s not because I’m having a bad day, I just can’t be bothered to invite socialization. There are good days too and generally being around people I love and trust turns me into a slightly annoying over-exuberant chatterbox.
Personality also influences how people arrange their work areas. In general, extroverts decorate their offices more, keep their doors open, keep extra chairs nearby, and are more likely to put dishes of candy on their desks. These are attempts to invite co-workers and encourage interaction. Introverts, in contrast, decorate less and tend to arrange their work space to discourage social interaction.-Wikipedia
Introverts take trust very seriously.
Trust is usually an issue of significance: a virtue of utmost importance to an introvert is choosing a worthy companion.-Wikipedia
It is believed that introversion and extroversion depend very much on the use of different parts of the brain. Some theories also propose that people are both extroverts and introverts ,only one is dominant.
I’d like to state all the good stuff and advantages of being an introvert like how they’re often more thoughtful, intelligent, artistic and all that, but I’ll let it go because you all already know all that.
The main reason for this post is to say that it’s okay to be an introvert. People think you’re strange for not wanting to go out every day and partaay or it’s weird that you don’t want to make small talk with every person who stops by your table or that it’s wrong that you feel uncomfortable having people visit just you especially when they’re not close to you. No, it’s okay. It’s okay that you’d rather stay home and read a book or cook or just write or think or whatever you want to do. Unlike popular misconceptions, introverts are not necessarily shy or socially challenged. They just prefer their own company. They take time to recharge their batteries after long amounts of time spent with a group.
Finally, if you have friends, family or a spouse who’s an introvert, let them be. They’ll talk to people and be social at their own pace. Always give them time to process. All introverts are different, but all I’ve written about is what I can relate to. Be supportive and save them from people who always try to force small talk. They’ll love you forever.
Till later xx