Exam Week 3 & Americanah

I actually considered not giving you guys a review of my last week of exams because I’d just planned to reblog my 3six5ng post which is basically a little review and then some. But then I decided just like my Twitter, my blog should include a post where I say I’M FREE!!! EXAMS ARE OVER!!!. *Clears throat* That was refreshing. You guys I’m so grateful for all the love and comments this past week and I’m excited to have more free time to write more and slightly better pieces. I started writing a bit of a different style? this past week. It what you would call honest expression, sometimes they look like poems but I wouldn’t call them poems and they aren’t long enough to be called articles either. I’d link in this week’s posts, but I’m suffering from post-exam laziness.

I had five exams this week, from Monday to Thursday and I’m grateful to have passed them to the best of my ability. I learned so much this week; a lot of which I’m not quite able to put into words just yet but I do have a few wise words from Miss Christiana Mbakwe (another writer person I’m a bit obsessed with). A few days back, I reckon she had a bit of an epiphany as she regularly does and she dropped a few words that I found thought provoking;

image (4)

image (3)image (2) image (5) image (6) image (7) image (8)

Can we just take a few minutes to discuss these first set of words which I have made annoyingly bold? It’s not that I’ve never been told to be myself before, hell its the most cliche set of words ever. What I love about this is that it is our mistakes and imperfections that make us human. No one is saying revel in your mistakes and don’t change all the wrong things you know you do. What am I saying? Be yourself in the sense that you should accept your capabilities and the things you cannot do as well. Try not to compare yourself with anyone and I feel like I’m always saying this, but it’s because it’s so important. Ask yourself;

”If no one else was doing this same thing, would I do as well as I would if my entire focus was on outdoing someone else?”

I’m learning that the only person I should be trying to outdo is myself. It has been years and years of comparing myself with others and it is such an unhealthy habit! I’m learning to support others and realize that contrary to worldly beliefs that there has to be ONE winner every time and ONE best in everything there’s room for everyone to shine and I’m finding contentment in being the best version of myself. Of course you can see that all my verbs are in present continuous; I’ve not completely succeeded.

image (9)Despite the fact that I’ve posted the entire screen shot for your benefit, I personally care most about the last tweet.- Discovering your intentions. Self deceit is one of the most dangerous things and also something that humans are very prone to, after all the bible says our heart is treacherous and desperate. We deceive ourselves in a lot of ways, both little and more serious forms from thinking a ten minute work out will burn all the calories accumulated that week to actually believing that we can make someone who has clearly stated otherwise by words or actions love us. We deceive ourselves. It’s our mind’s way of protecting us. But once in a while, we shouldn’t be so afraid of bruising our egos. We should sit, alone preferably and strip down the layers, because our intentions are only clearly visible if we want to see them / know them as the case may be.

On to more serious news! I COMPLETED AMERICANAH!! I have never felt so wooed by an author’s description of love, especially because I honestly cannot think of any African love stories I’ve read. Reading about two people- Nigerians like myself for that matter- in love and singing along to Bracket’s ‘Yori Yori’ and Obiwon’s ‘Obi Mu O’ had me yearning for true love in it’s most unabashed form. I’m also happy to have (finally) read a book by Chimamanda that gives me closure and does not leave me hanging or having to complete the story myself. All that said; It was worth my time, even though I found all the flashbacks and big words  a bit too superfluous at times. I just read all of that political jargon and words like ‘obsequious’ have me feeling a bit flabbergasted. I also want to say that although I may have fallen in love with Obinze, my favorite character was definitely Dike. I just love him. And, my favorite quote?

Rayinudo got up. There was a luxurious womanly slowness to her gait, a lift, a roll, a toggle of her buttocks with each step. A Nigerian walk.

I am so grateful to have had the Nigerian story told in such a beautiful way; definitely not all it’s facets, but I could proudly identify every step of the way.

I’m going to read so many books in the coming weeks and I’m excited. Right now it feels good that my biggest problem is choosing what literary work to devour next- that’s just my idea of  fancy English for what book to read next. How did your week go? And for all who still have exams, all the best you guys! x

PS Pardon all my unnecessary big words, blame ‘Americanah’.