First Born Syndrome

Hello hello!! How’s it going beautiful people? I hope your week has been amazeballs so far. Yes yes, I’m doing it again. I’m writing about another ”phenomenon”. Having already discussed The Left Hand Phenomenon and The Anatomy Of Medical Students, of course I’ll talk about first borns (is that even right?). Before I begin to digress, let’s get started. I don’t think I have to explain who a first born is, I mean come on! The first born is the first born child of his parents. Tada! Very self explanatory. I may be the only one who has noticed that this phenomenon exists, but I believe it does. Oh and I am my parents’ first child in case you were wondering. There is a difference between the attitudes of first borns (yes, I’ll keep saying ”borns”, ”first children” just reminds me of Malia and Sasha Obama) and other children. I’ll tell you about these differences soon, but I’ll just like to say two things first;

– You do not count as a first child if you’re an only child. Sorry, you could as well be the last child.

– We’re all individuals and this may not apply to everyone, so don’t bite my head off if you feel these things do not apply to you.

Okay, so here we go;

1. Bossypants: First born children (I compromised) are probably the most bossy people you’ll ever meet.  It’s actually worse if they’re Africans. In Africa, respect is primary. Especially to your elders even if they’re just a year older than you are. You are not to speak while they’re speaking or you might get slapped. Yes, you will get slapped and beaten. Your parents may join in to either defend you (if you’re the last child) or beat you as well. For these reasons we (first borns) believe we are boss. Yes. We are usually opinionated and must be listened to. It’s almost natural to send people on errands, to give unsolicited advice to one and all, sibling or not and to be well, upset when we aren’t listened to and so we appear more uptight than we are, please bear with us. Amazingly enough though, I’ve noticed that among 95% of twins, the older ones are more subdued. I’d have never guessed that Tamera Mowry Housley is older than Tia Mowry Hardict (Google is your friend). The younger twin often talks up such a storm and the older one is just smiling in the corner. Is this shyness or maturity?

2. Parents’ best friends: Parents love to confide in their firstborns. They trust us more, probably because we agree with them a lot and most times share a common enemy-the younger siblings(well, not enemies exactly, but you know what I mean). We’re the ”snitches” most times because we have to tell our parents when our siblings do something wrong, at least I did and we try to keep our siblings from also snitching on us. We’re also older (duh) and the age gap is more bridged. We see no shame in hanging out with the folks and talking about stuff. This is why it’s also very heartbreaking when the first child goes astray, because the parents hold him up to the younger siblings as a role model. First children are also proper guinea pigs. They were raised when the parents were still unsure of their methods and so they are usually very proud when we excel. Firstborn club, please lets keep excelling.

3. We Grow up TOO fast: The greatest similarity! I just know when I hear someone who is the first child of their parents talk. Middle children and last borns, be not thee offended, but a great percentage of mature people are the first children of their parents. They learn to protect their juniors, nurture them and teach them about things parents may be too busy to teach them. And so, we’re adults before we’re even teenagers. We know what our younger siblings should eat when and how. This is especially true in cases of single parents or very busy parents. The first child becomes the parent and learns to navigate life for self and siblings. Some firstborns forget how to live for themselves and begin to live vicariously through their siblings. This shouldn’t be. There should always be a line. Always know when to take those steps back and move on with your life. As long as they’re old enough, they don’t need you 24/7 as they used to anymore.

Some fun facts about your oldest sibling:

-First borns are often law abiding, keen to be in charge, academically successful, bad at delegating and self critical.

-They often choose careers requiring a lot of precision like law, medicine and architecture.

– They often have an innate fear of being dethroned.

– Famous firstborns include Bill Clinton, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, Bill Cosby and Winston Churchill.

-More than half of the Us presidents were firstborns.

-21 of the 23 first astronauts were first born children.

-2/3 of entrepreneurs are first born children.

Can I just add that first born children can either get along very well with last born children (usually if it’s their own sibling) or butt heads because the the latter is too ‘immature’. It would be tough if a first born girl married a proper mummy’s boy kind of last child, I think.

The point of this post is to help you see how your older sibling thinks and to help you understand them and appreciate them. All children are important to their parents, of course. Have a great week guys xx