Hello beautiful people! How is it going? I hope everyone is doing well. I’m talking about a sensitive topic today… well, not all that sensitive, but it’s personal, so it’s touchy.
My name is Afoma and I’m a pessimist. I try to be more optimistic, I really try, but I find myself often expecting the worst to happen, even preparing for the worst which in itself is not essentially the worst thing that could happen because preparing for the worst protects you from disappointment. At least that’s what I tell myself. If you don’t know who a pessimist is, its someone who sees half a glass of water as half empty. Pessimists live their lives in anticipation of the worst.
Being a pessimist is not the best in case you haven’t already figured it out. I decided to write about this because I’m having a deep attack of pessimism right now as I do every time exams are around the corner or whenever I’m faced with stressful conditions which take me out of my comfort zone. (It’s really just exams). As always, I’m not quite sure what this piece will be, but I’m considering deviating from my usual method of itemizing. It’s also difficult to type from my current position because my laptop is over six inches away from me and I can’t move it closer because my internet stick-it-in thing is suffering from a chronic case of partial contact. I’m digressing in the most abnormal way; this is what being overwhelmed does to me. I’ve decided, I’ll itemize; this isn’t really the best time to try something new seeing as I’m as frazzled as I am.
– Pessimists are very afraid to dream: Maybe it’s just me, maybe it’s a pessimist thing but I find that if you always expect the worst to happen, you’re bound to stop expecting good things to happen to you. Simple math, no? Well, it’s something I regularly battle with; convincing myself that I’m working hard enough and I’ll get good results and trying to get myself to believe that I’m good enough. Dreaming is just one of the things most pessimists are afraid of. We find it very difficult to try new things because we can already see ourselves making mistakes and failing at them. It’s not a good life.
– Pessimists are worriers: We worry. Of course we worry! All that thinking! From imagining falling off those sky high heels to imagining failing that exam you’d sacrificed nights of sleep for. It’s not healthy to worry and especially when every action is over thought and all outcomes are feared. Personally, my dreams are very easily affected by my worries and so even though when I like to sleep when I’m stressed (imagine how that works during exams) I dream of all my worries and wake up feeling very ‘unrested’ or worse with a massive migraine.
– Every pessimist needs an optimist: If you’re pessimistic, you need friends and family who see the glass as half full, otherwise you’ll worry yourself to an early grave. You also need to recognize that life cannot be planned to the last detail and there are some situations that cannot be helped even with a year’s worth of worrying. So do you and let it be. I have very optimistic friends and my brother and father are also very optimistic people so I’m blessed in that regard. I also implore our optimist friends to be patient with us.
– Get Busy: When I started writing this post, I was wrought with so many negative thoughts and emotions but right now I feel about 70% better because instead off sitting and pouting, I got busy with something I like to do. Now I’m not going to sound saintly, I’ve been getting slayed by my thoughts all day and I just now decided to try to get busy… so, there. Dancing is also very therapeutic, keeps your mind off your troubles and the exercise produces endorphins which keep you happy.
– Pessimists need God: Everyone needs God, but pessimists especially. Sometimes even the most optimistic person in the world cannot save me from drowning in all my thoughts and I need a greater force, a greater peace that excels all thought which can only be granted by God. So prayer saves the day. It may not work immediately, but if you put effort to stay with clean, happy thoughts, then you’re more likely to regain control of those stray thoughts.
– If all else fails… sleep.
Being a pessimist is not the greatest, it’s very much far from it. I’m trying to at least progress to being a realist and see the glass as it really is without paralyzing myself with fear. Trying. It’s a work in progress. For now, I’ll just be a cheerful pessimist.
I hope your week is going better than mine. x